Going back to work? It’s an exciting new beginning – and having that steady paycheck means a lot in terms of security and opportunities for your family. But sometime during your first week working outside your home you’re likely to become painfully aware of the sheer quantity of details and tasks that you handled automatically before.
That realization leaves you with a choice to make. One option is to try to “do it all.” At least you’ll know it’s getting done (mostly). But the downside of trying to be “super mom” is the stress and resentment that can result from being overloaded. When you’re exhausted, you don’t get to enjoy the very family you’re trying to take care of. And, from their perspective, you’re not only gone while you’re at work; you’re also too busy to be truly present when you’re home.
Another choice is to build a family Get-It-Done Team. When circumstances change, it’s healthy to shake things up a little and manage household tasks in new ways. Including your children in a plan to share the tasks that you handled single-handedly before allows them to feel the importance of the contributions they make. That, in turn, builds self esteem.
Start by coming to an agreement as parents about the goals you have for your Get-It-Done Team. Your team can:
· Create a sense of a family unit that pulls together to get things done
· Engage children in household tasks in a way that enables them to feel positive about contributing
· Teach responsibility
· Prevent the burn-out that comes with doing it all yourself
Once you’ve identified your goals as parents, it’s time to have a family meeting. You agenda should include these steps:
· Develop a vision that you all share – like creating a tidy, relaxed household with less yelling, and time for parents and kids to have fun together
· List household tasks -- from calling the plumber to paying the bills. This helps kids see the fairness of sharing the load.
· Choose a take-charge person for each chore
· Plan a way to track results.
· Celebrate success with a family fun activity.
The feeling of everyone working together creates new energy that will help your whole family adapt to their working mom.
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