A household is really a small community, and just as in a school or a neighborhood, its success depends on everyone’s participation. An important aspect of that success is taking care of the house. With a small “community” of busy people, that’s not always easy to do. However, when each family member feels some ownership in the results, keeping things running don’t have to be a source of ongoing strife.
Traditionally, parents assign chores to each child, based on age and sometimes gender. “Eric, you take out the garbage; Lynn, you dry the dishes.” Next follows the litany of reminders and recriminations. “Don’t forget – dishes before television,” and “Why is that garbage can in the middle of the driveway!” While children do need consistent follow-through from their parents, you can eliminate most of the begging and yelling connected to getting them to complete their chores.
Bringing your workplace skills home can really help. Instead of becoming the enforcer of chores, think of yourself as the CEO of the household.
· Together, start by creating a vision of how you’d like your home to feel and look. You and your spouse might imagine an orderly space that welcomes you at the end of the day. Your teen’s ideal might be a place to bring friends where there’s no yelling or nagging. Little ones might think of special time for a game with mom or dad.
· Work backwards from the vision to list what needs to happen in order to bring it to life. Identify areas of responsibility rather than specific chores.
· Choose a take-charge person –a manager – to create the results you’re seeking. Start small. If a clean, neat family room is what you’re after, talk about what that looks like – no toys on the floor, clean carpet, furniture dusted. Younger kids can handle a chore within an area with an older sibling as manager. “Managers” are responsible to treat their helpers fairly.
Management has its perks. It allows kids to be leaders rather than feeling bossed around. It gives them the freedom to create their own plan for achieving results. It teaches them to enlist the help of others. Giving them the opportunity to “take charge” is a great way to build children’s sense of responsibility.