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Relief from the heat used to mean trudging off with friends for a cool dip in the pool. For today’s kids, it’s as least as likely to mean sitting in an air-conditioned house while venturing into cyberspace. The internet opens up a world of opportunity for kids -- and also presents serious parenting challenges.
As a whole, kids need a healthy balance of constructive activity, exercise, free time, and social contact – live and in person -- with their peers. It’s likely that they’ll need your help to maintain that balance while incorporating the online world into it. That’s because the internet, and computers themselves, have a certain addictive quality for kids and adults alike. It makes sense to place a single limit on the daily time your children spend in front of a screen, whether instant messaging, computer time, or television.
Helping kids manage their activity online is also a matter of safety. Children need guidelines to protect them from exposure to pornographic, violent and otherwise hurtful material. It’s up to parents to teach kids how to steer clear of online predators and identity thieves. Kids need to understand the potential for the devastating spread of hurtful gossip and for cyberbullying, unique to an online world.
Monitoring children’s online activity is easy when they’re little. You can accomplish it by locating the computer in a common area rather than in a child’s bedroom, adding a filter, and looking over their shoulders. But once they reach middle school age, relying on control and monitoring to keep your children safe is no longer an effective strategy. The reality is that kids have access to the internet – if not from your house, then from a friend’s, and the rules and supervision at their friends’ houses may not be as tight as your own. So the balance of parenting effort has to shift from control to education. Fortunately, there is powerful training available online that uses videos, cartoons, music, and facts to persuade kids of all ages that they need to be careful.
Visit these excellent resources with your kids and learn together about internet safety:
· www.netsmartzkids.org – cartoons that teach kids safe online behavior
· www.ispace.org and http://vta.isafe.org/ for teens and adults
· www.netsmartz.org
· www.wiredsafety.org
© 2007 Beech Acres Parenting Center
Information: www.beechacres.org
Fran Hendrick, M.Ed., P.C.C., therapist, coach, and mother of two, is director of Parenting Resources at Beech Acres Parenting Center.
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Summer’s almost here, and you’ve decided it’s time for your child to learn to swim. If you’ve got a natural fish on your hands, sit back and enjoy the fun. But if your child is more conservative and fearful about trying new things, be prepared to get creative.
Some children don’t easily tolerate having an unfamiliar person using a hands-on approach to show them how to swim. Let go of the idea that the “correct” way to learn is to pay attention while being formally taught. That’s not how babies learn to walk! Kids have a natural tendency to grow and learn, and they do it more through watching and playing, than by being instructed. Gifted teachers create an environment that attracts kids to learning rather than coercing them.
Part of the art of teaching – and of parenting – is to be able to present children with opportunities that provide a level of challenge that attracts them because is just beyond their current capability. If it’s too easy, it’s boring; if it’s too difficult, your child will be afraid to try.
Dropping a fearful child off to a stranger to learn to swim is too great a challenge for some kids. So create an attractive alternative to get the job done. Play with your child in the water. Have fun. Instead of instructing her in blowing bubbles, encircle her in a hug and act out a story about a silly parrot who thought it was hilarious to blow mouthfuls of air into the water. Be silly, be funny, laugh.
Don’t suddenly let go of a frightened child in the middle of the pool to prove to her that she can swim. Propel her through the water with your hand under her back – and later, her stomach. Make a game of how fast she is! Have her kick to be even faster. When she’s ready, make a magic ring around her with your arms that starts small and gets larger once she knows she is safe.
Not a swimmer? Children are rightfully suspicious when their parents proclaim how fun and safe an activity is – but won’t do it themselves. If you’re afraid of the activity you’re promoting, a cautious child is liable to take that to heart. Find a helper whose enthusiasm entices your child to join in.
Information: www.beechacres.org
Fran Hendrick, M.Ed., P.C.C., is director of Parenting Resources at Beech Acres Parenting Center.
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Talk to your teens about sex:
They’ll listen
Knowing that sexual activity carries with it the risk of HIV and cervical cancer, along with a host of other sexually transmitted diseases, it can be literally life-saving to talk with kids about sex.
If you start early, you’ll find that it’s really not so daunting.
Take advantage of teachable moments. Be an “askable parent,” starting with your child’s earliest questions. This avoids the awkwardness about “The Talk” that may lead you to postpone it. Just field the questions they ask, as they arise.
Take the time to develop a strong relationship with your children and continue this as they move into their teen years. Have conversations on a regular basis about important issues. Your interest in and respect for your teen’s point of view builds trust, and that’s what’s needed in order for him to look to you for guidance on a topic as important as sex.
Teach teens about intimacy, not just about sex. Whether it’s in a movie or in real life, observe out loud to your kids when you see a poignant example of a powerful relationship. Talking with your kids about the value of a committed relationship gives them a foundation for developing standards for their own relationships.
Be clear about the risks:
§ Make sure your teen understands that intercourse isn’t the only form of risky sexual behavior.
§ Talk about STDs. Educate yourself first, and be open to questions.
§ Discuss emotional risks. Sexually active teens are at greater risk for depression, anxiety and even suicide attempts, because most teens simply do not have the life experience to manage the ramifications of sexual involvement.
§ Discuss the possibility of being exploited by someone who does not have your teen’s best interests in mind.
§ Help teens realize that unwanted pregnancies do occur even when contraceptives are used.
Teach kids to avoid being pressured by peers into sexual activity.
Talk about responsibility. A healthy sexual relationship means accepting responsibility for the emotional and physical well-being of another person
Create a picture of what’s possible. Talk about the richness of a strong marriage, and what it takes to create that. Explain that true intimacy is worth waiting for, and show them by providing the best role models you can offer.
For more information, visit www.beechacres.org.
--Fran Hendrick, M.Ed., P.C.C., is director of Parenting Resources at Beech Acres Parenting Center.
© 2007 Beech Acres Parenting Center
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The music pounds aggressively from the speakers in your teenager's bedroom. The assault of sound inspires visions of head banging and mosh pits. Even more, it generates concern for the young adult you’re raising.
What is the attraction to these sounds that seem so much a symbol of alienation? Is it simply about rebellion? Not precisely – although the opportunity to just be “bad” in a harmless way feels good. Is it a sign of depression? A threat of violence? A lack of morality?
Unlikely.
We each have a filter when it comes to music that allows certain types of sound in and rejects others. When musical sound does not match that filter, we’re likely to be suspicious or even afraid of it. And heavy metal challenges our visual filters, too. It is a form of theatre, often conveying violent themes. Its lyrics are raw and disturbing.
We’re comfortable with music that tells a story, supports a cause, or politely reflects emotion. This music does none of these. Instead, it is a statement of rage about the world. A world of random violence -- in the streets and in the schools, a world where safety seems nonexistent, where trust in leaders is dangerously eroded. It’s a world where going to college racks up enormous debt and no longer ensures employability. It’s a world that forces adolescents to confront a crisis of hope and purpose.
This music asks not how to stop a war, but rather, what is the hope for humanity? We need to find the courage to empathize with our kids’ questions and sometimes with their despair. We need to provide them hope and model the power to take action. We need to change the conversation about their music — from challenging to wondering.
Start by asking new questions:
· How does this music make you feel? Don't get hung up on the lyrics. Instead, try to understand the adventure of it, the adrenalin, the energy – and the fun!
· What scares you -- in your school or half way around the globe?
· What do you think needs to change?
· What difference would you like to make?
Go ahead and hate their music; kids prefer it that way. But love their questions and their observations. Your respect and acceptance bolster their optimism about life.
Information: www.beechacres.org
Fran Hendrick, M.Ed., P.C.C., is director of Parenting Resources at Beech Acres Parenting Center.
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The best planned holiday moments can suddenly fall apart into tears and tantrums, but a little forward thinking can prevent momentary disappointments from ruining an entire day. Here’s how to prevent your holiday bubble from bursting over your children’s exuberant cries of “Mommy, Daddy, I want that!”
· Put yourself in their shoes. Of course kids want the delightful things they see advertised on television and winking through enticing store windows! Brilliant minds have spent months creating products, colorful packaging, and advertising to ensure a chorus of cries of, “I want that!”
What to do: Try to understand and reflect what your child is feeling. “Wow! That looks like fun!” and “You wish you could have them both! It’s so hard to choose.”
· Remind yourself that having to make choices is not a tragedy. It’s absolutely built into the nature of life. Today your child has to decide between a new book and a new doll; soon it will be choices about dating and careers. Your children can’t have it all – and that’s truly all right.
What to do: Present the reality. Together, identify some choices.
· Stay positive. It’s normal and healthy for children to want things that attract them. In fact, desire is a component of ambition. So the goal is not to squelch that happy, healthy desire; it’s to empower children by teaching them to make good choices about what to go after.
It’s also normal for kids to feel anger over not getting what they want. Accept their frustration with neutrality, rather than punishing them for it.
What to do: Try to stay calm if your child explodes with frustration. Stormy emotions have to blow on through, and that’s okay, too. By accepting your child’s feelings, you demonstrate that emotions are not bad or dangerous; they’re just facts of life.
Each time you help your children work through their emotions rather than criticizing them, they feel understood and, as a result, are able to grow as people. Difficult moments might not seem to belong with twinkling lights and holiday treats, but they provide an opportunity to experience love – and that, after all, is what makes the holidays a time of joy.
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We seem to measure everything these days.
We measure kids by their percentiles on the growth chart, how many words they can say by what age, how early they read, their test scores, their grades, the number of sports teams they’re on –
We measure parents, too. How many activities are your kids involved in? Are they on the honor roll? Are they “popular?” Do you attend every practice and every game? Do you pay extra for private lessons?
In fact, we measure people relentlessly, and all that judging is stressful. That’s true for our kids, too. Children and adolescents need free time, on a regular basis, time when they are not under pressure to achieve.
Certainly achievement is important for kids. Accomplishments are important building blocks for self esteem, and structured activities provide the opportunity for kids to achieve in ways that we – and they – can measure. However, focusing on achievement alone can cause you to lose touch with the whole child. Your child is a complex person with greatness that goes far beyond the list of her achievements!
In addition to achievement, children need emotional space in order to grow. That means an expanse of time when there’s not a coach, teacher, parent, or video screen directing their attention and assessing their progress. When kids are over-programmed and over-measured, they lose the opportunity to grow at their own pace and to rely on their own inventiveness to direct themselves.
Happily, the antidote to over-programming is built into the child! Children are born with curiosity and a natural drive to play. By resisting the temptation to sign your child up for yet another activity that will look good on an application in years to come, you leave space for pure and simple play. Playtime is a tremendous teacher that costs you nothing.
Here’s what happens when kids are allowed some space to be on their own (with the supervision they need to stay safe):
o They have time to process what has happened in their day. Whether they received an “A” on a test or were chosen last for volleyball, downtime allows them to work through their feelings and imagine what they’d like to do the next day.
o They have time to be bored and to fall back on their own resources without a screen of some sort to rescue them.
o There’s time for them to imagine and create.
o There’s time for relationships with friends to develop naturally. Unstructured play helps them learn the give and take of getting along with others.
o There’s time to feel part of something larger – the woods, the vast world inside their books, the universe.
o Play provides a safe space and time to be independent and self-directed.
The key word is time. The time for play is crucial to children’s development. It is not an extra to be allowed only when there is a blank spot in the schedule. So when you’re creating the plan of the week, remember to be intentional about building in free time for your kids. And while you’re at it, build some in for yourself, too!
Learn more…
How To Avoid the Hyper-Parenting Trap
The Power of Play [coming in January, 2007] by David Elkind, PhD, author of The Hurried Child.
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With RSS feeds, notifications by email and to cell phones, podcasts,
television, and radio, news gets out fast these days. The trouble is that
because new information is reported so quickly, it is often almost immediately
contradicted by a subsequent announcement.
In the world of parenting, that's exactly what happens with new studies.
Almost on a weekly basis, new hypotheses about what causes ADHD, autism,
allergies, or sibling rivalry come out. And that's good. Science
advances by testing out each hypothesis and publishing the results, so that the
next researcher can build on them.
Unfortunately, that leaves parents not knowing what to do. Should all
sugar be eliminated from children's diets? Should the televisions be
carted out of the house and given away? Maybe all moms should quit their
jobs and stay home! But next week, the news might tell us that a little
sugar won't hurt, that television doled out judiciously is good for kids, and
that when moms have some balance in their lives, families benefit. Here
are some tips for handling all of this conflicting information:
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Don't panic! Unless it's something as concrete as a
product safety recall, there's time to do a little sleuthing of your own.
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Find a trusted consultant. For most parents, this will
be a pediatrician who stays abreast of new information and welcomes the
opportunity to help parents sort through it. Together you can decide if
any action is warranted.
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Consider reading the study yourself. You may even be
able to find it online. While some research is pretty challenging to
read, not all of it is. Reading the material directly is not a substitute
for talking to your pediatrician, but it may help you frame the questions you
want to ask.
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Correlation is not the same as causation. If a new study
comes out tomorrow showing that children who eat purple polka dotted candy also
tend to have higher grades in reading, that would not be a reason to
raid the candy stores. Much more study would be needed in order to
determine whether eating that trendy candy actually caused the higher
grades – although we could guess that it probably did not.
In the end, it's a matter of striking a balance. Research definitely
contributes information that aids in making parenting decisions. However,
too much conflicting information can throw you and make you feel less confident
about your parenting. Remember, in the end, you know your own
children best. By being a good observer, you can draw your own
conclusions about what works and does not work for your kids, and shape an
environment where they will thrive.
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In this “information age,” it’s not only adults who are bombarded with words and images. Kids are surrounded by artfully crafted advertising messages that look like fact to them. Whether it’s a political campaign or a commercial for a new weight loss product, learning how to sort out fact from embellishment is a survival skill that kids need.
Take that new advertising campaign that compares computers. Computer A, represented by a slightly frumpy, confused man is juxtaposed against Computer B, a highly trendy guy who radiates confidence, ease, and likeability. Viewers are intended to conclude that Computer B is more reliable, more up-to-date, has more capability – and is simply more cool than Computer B. The message is even more compelling because it’s entertaining.
Make a snappy two-minute game of unmasking the hype when you see a great example like this. Your kids will enjoy the sense of competence they gain from analyzing commercial messages and drawing their own conclusions about the products and services they see advertised.
Ask questions like these to get the conversation going:
Separate fact from fiction.
· What are they selling?
· What specific facts do they give about the product? If your kids draw a wrong conclusion, ask, “What made you think that?”
Identify the hidden messages. Start by explaining that sometimes advertisers try to get us to believe certain things about their products that they never actually tell us in words. For instance, a commercial might try to make you believe that by using the product, you’ll be like the actor.
· Who are the people in the commercial? What did you notice about them?
· What are they trying to tell you in this commercial that they don’t say in words?
· Is that an accurate message? Does it make sense?
Draw conclusions.
· Would you buy the product?
· Why or why not?
There’s more information out there than any human being can absorb, and your children will have to sort through the vast majority of it without the help of teachers and parents. Teaching them to think critically about what they see and hear is a crucial part of helping them become effective decision-makers. An added bonus: As they grow older, establishing a habit of thinking independently is one of the best safeguards you can build against negative peer pressure.
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If you hear your teen or young adult mention a “pharm” party, perhaps a bonfire and an illicit keg come to mind. Think again! "Pharm" is short for pharmaceutical; “pharm parties” reflect a rapidly growing trend in youth drug culture: the abuse of prescription drugs by teens and young adults.
What is a “pharm party?”
At a “pharm party,” teens share and mix various prescription medications, especially painkillers (OxyContin and Vicodin); tranquilizers (Xanax and Valium), stimulants (Ritalin and adderall); and sedatives. Also common are cold medications containing alcohol or codeine, and cough medicines containing the dissociative anaesthetic dextromethorphine. Alcohol is often added to the “cocktail,” increasing the danger.
How widespread is prescription drug abuse?
According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America,
· 1 in 5 teens has abused a prescription pain medication
· 1 in 5 report abusing prescription stimulants and tranquilizers
· 1 in 10 has abused cough medication
Why is this happening?
· Prescription drugs are widely available to teens, both their own and those prescribed for their parents.
· Teens may have an erroneous belief that if it came from the medicine cabinet, it must be safe. In reality, sharing and mixing prescription medications can be lethal
What should parents do?
· Pay attention to the statistics on prescription drug abuse! All teens – and children as young as twelve, are at risk for this activity.
· Educate yourself – and then find teachable moments to educate your kids.
o Like street drugs, prescription drugs can be lethal.
o Drug interactions, and mixing drugs and alcohol can be lethal. .
o Some prescription drugs are addictive and have to be used with caution.
· Don’t be naïve. Lock up prescription drugs that have the potential for abuse. Be aware of how many pills are left in the bottle; consider flushing the leftovers. Even if you believe that your own child won’t misuse these medications, they need to be kept out of reach of visiting friends. Encourage critical thinking about the use of drugs to alleviate emotional pain. Use television shows and movies as conversation openers about how to cope with the difficulties of everyday living that can feel so overwhelming to teens – like failing a test or breaking up with a boyfriend.
· Don’t underestimate the power of peer pressure to influence your teen to share their own – and your – medications with their friends. Teach your kids how to manage peer pressure.
· Recognize the non-specific signs suggestive of drug misuse, which include fatigue, loss of interest in hobbies, and poor school performance.
Resources
http://www.drugfree.org/
http://www.checkyourself.com/About.aspx
References
www.usatoday.com/news/health/2006-06-12-teens-pharm-drugs_x.htm
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=2411936&page=1
http://www.azcentral.com/health/kids/articles/0613Pharming-ON.html
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Baby Sign Language? What’s that???
You may have never thought twice about the use of sign language by families with hearing-impaired members, have you ever thought of using it with a baby who has normal hearing? In an fascinating trend, many parents are now teaching their infants and toddlers to use sign language to communicate their needs when they are not yet able to do so with words. Furthermore, parents can choose to continue the use of sign language with newly verbal or children who are gaining a strong foundation in the use of spoken language as a way to enhance their language skills and family communication patterns. And you already have everything you need to get started: a love for your child, a desire to teach them new things, and a computer.
Learning Baby Sign Language is Easy Because:
- Children can understand and recognize signs before they can use them (just like learning to talk).
- You don’t have to be fluent in sign language in order to teach this skill to your baby. You can learn together and enhance your own abilities while you share communication with your child!
Why teach your baby sign language?
- It’s natural for babies to invent their own signs and symbols to communicate their needs. By teaching them signs that people besides their parents can understand, they are much more able to ask for what they want or need – in a daycare setting, for example. That makes for a happier baby.
- Less frustration for baby means fewer tantrums –and less stress on caregivers – including Mom and Dad!
- The time you and your baby spend sharing language and learning together strengthens the bond between you.
But is it really a good idea to use sign language with a hearing child?
Parents sometimes worry that using sign language will lead to delayed language development. Many parents also wonder if sign language be useful to their child in later life. In fact research has shown that:
- Signing babies usually start to talk earlier than non-signing babies.
- Signing babies develop larger vocabularies than non-signing babies.
- Signing reinforces verbal language by adding visual and kinesthetic emphasis known and new words
- Signing children tend to be more interested in reading.
- Children’s use of signs tends to fade out as their language develops – unless parents choose to continue to increase their knowledge of sign language.
When Should We Start?
- Start as early as 6 months. The window between ages 6-9 months is ideal.
- If your child is older, you haven’t missed your chance! Now is still a great time to begin, because frustration and tantrums often peak from 16-30 months when toddlers are still unable to express their needs fully.
How Do We Get Started?
- Use sign language with your child in every day settings. Start with a few signs for things that your baby needs, like milk, eat, drink, more.
- Sign with the activity (before and during). Try asking “Do you want some milk?” using the milk sign. Then, when your baby is drinking or nursing, you can say, “Is that good milk?” using the sign again. Consistency is key.
- After mastery of basic signs, you can move to other basic baby signs, like please, thank you and sorry, full, hungry, toilet, etc. Later you can add emotions, colors, and animals.
- As your child learns the signs and begins to sign back, start adding others while you continue to use the signs you already use.
Most of all…
Have fun! Using Baby Sign Language is one way to enhance the precious bond between you and your baby while building two-way conversations with him. How exciting is that!
Learn more…
· “Baby Sign Language: How to “talk” to your hearing baby and toddler with sign language” – a featured topic at the 2006 For the Love of Kids Conference on Positive Practical Parenting on Oct. 21, 2006! Register now!
· See a video dictionary of signs to use with your baby
· Read the research
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The recording of a recent teleseminar, Internet Safety: What Every Parent Needs to Know, is now posted for online parent center members. Log in to access this mp3 file from your Parent HomePage.
Our guest speaker, Allan Kush, Deputy Director of www.wiredsafety.org made reference to a dynamic group of teens who promote internet safety among their peers and even work with law enforcement in their efforts to increase safety in cyberspace. For more information on this organization and to learn how your teen can become involved, visit http://www.teenangels.org/about.html.
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WHY DO TEENS HAVE SUCH A HIGH CRASH RATE?
· Two factors work against young drivers: inexperience behind the wheel and immaturity.2
WHAT FACTORS INCREASE THE RATE OF CRASHES?
· LACK OF EXPERIENCE: Crash rates are highest during the first 1000 miles and 6 months of driving, regardless of the amount of supervised practice driving before a license is received and regardless of age.8
· WEEKENDS: Fifty-four percent of teenage motor vehicle crash deaths occurred on Friday, Saturday or Sunday – with Saturday being the deadliest day of the week for teens. 1
· NIGHT DRIVING:
o 42% percent of deaths of teenagers in motor vehicles during 2003 occurred between 9 pm and 6 am.1 Studies show that nighttime driving restrictions typically are associated with crash reductions of 40-60 percent during restricted hours. 2
o Almost two-thirds of all fatal nighttime crashes involving 16 year-olds occur before midnight. 2
· PASSENGERS:
o Teen drivers, ages 16 and 17, driving with even one passenger are one and a half times more likely to be involved in a crash than when driving alone.
o With two teen passengers in the vehicle, the risk more than doubles.
o With three or more teen passengers, it’s three to five times more likely that teens will be involved in a crash than if they were driving alone.5
o When teens drive other teens, they tend to drive faster than other motorists and leave less distance between their vehicles and the vehicles in front of them. They speed more frequently when there are other teens in vehicles, especially males.6
· CELL PHONES: Driver distraction from cell phone use has been documented extensively.7
· TYPE OF VEHICLE: Young drivers are substantially more likely to roll over an SUV in a crash than older drivers, especially if they were in older SUV's. 7
· ALCOHOL: 36% of all teen driving deaths are alcohol related.3
WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?
· Take an active role in teens’ driving education and set clear driving guidelines to reduce their chances of being in a crash by up to one-third.4
· Be a role model. Studies show that teens model their driving after their parents’ driving practices. So put your cell phone away, obey the traffic laws, don’t tailgate and refuse to drive after drinking.
· Implement your own graduated licensing plan. High school driver education doesn’t lead to lower crash involvement compared with other ways of learning to drive. 2 However the crash rate is reduced from about 10 to 30 percent by implementing a graduated licensing program. 2
References
1 http://www.allstate.com/Community/PageRender.asp?Page=teensafedrivingfacts.html
2 http://www.iihs.org/research/quanda/gdl.html
3 www.roadreadyteens.org - CDC, 2000)
4 www.roadreadyteens.org ; Simpson, H.M. The Evolution and Effectiveness of Graduated Licensing, 17.
5 www.roadreadyteens.org ;Preusser, D.F.; Williams, A.F.; Zador, P.L.; and Blomberg, R.D. 1984. The effect of curfew laws on motor vehicle crashes. Law and Policy 6:115-28.
6 http://www.iii.org/media/hottopics/insurance/teendrivers - National Institutes of Health and Westat.
7 J. Hedlund et al./ Journal of Safety Research xx (2006) article in press.
8 http://www.nih.giv/news/pr/feb2005/nichd-22.htm
9 The National Safety Council’s Family Guide to Teen Driver Safety
For members: Log in and visit the Parenting Toolbox for a Graduated License Driving Contract that you can use with the new drivers in your family.
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There’s just no arguing with the statistics on teens and driving. The numbers are scary, and they’re real.
- Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among American teenagers, killing between 5,000 and 6,000 teenagers every year for the past decade.
- From 1994 to 2003, a total of 57,142 teenagers were killed in motor vehicle crashes.
Even with Driver’s Education classes and supervised driver training, the crash rates remain very high. Add to that the statistical reality that it takes a minimum of 2 years and 20,000 miles of experience to begin to sway the odds.
And it’s not “dare devils” and “troubled teens” who make up the majority of teen drivers involved in accidents. The culprits here are, quite simply, a lack of driving experience combined with the average expectable tendency of the teenage brain to react dangerously quickly in driving situations.
While the statistics are frightening, they are empowering, too. Studies tell us that there are clear risk factors that drastically increase the chances of a crash. The good news is that by managing these high risk situations and driving with caution, the number of accidents involving teen drivers is genuinely reduced.
These are the factors that have been shown to affect both the incidence of crashes and the outcome when an accident does occur.
- Teen Passengers
- Night driving
- Type of car
- Drugs and alcohol
- Seatbelts
- Road conditions
And here’s another powerful piece in the puzzle: Gradually increasing driving challenges, as experience and skills are gained, reduces accidents. It works! It’s proven! It’ll help keep your teen – and others – safe. In some states, it’s written right into the law. Even if your state does not have a strong graduated driver’s licensing program, you can create one for use in your family.
A Graduated Driver’s License Contract takes the facts and puts them to work to help keep new drivers accident-free. As experience is gained, the scope of driving conditions expands. Parents and teens are in communication throughout this process to assess progress and revise the plan accordingly.
What are the stages in a graduated licensing contract?
- Learner’s Permit: Parents make a commitment to provide 50 hours of driving supervision in increasingly challenging conditions. Recommended minimum age: 16. Continue for six months before applying for a license.
- Newly Licensed: Risk conditions like carrying passengers, driving at night, driving in challenging weather conditions, and high speed driving are only added to the teen’s scope of driving after set periods of time and after the skills to safely manage these challenges have been demonstrated during supervised driving practice. The Newly Licensed phase extends to age 18, with the scope of driving conditions increasing during that time.
- Full Licensure: Age 18.
Learn more…
Know The Statistics on Teen Drivers
For members: Log in and visit the Parenting Toolbox for a Graduated License Driving Contract that you can use with the new drivers in your family.
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Among the wondrous things about children are their abilities to trust and to bounce back from the losses life brings their way. Children who watched “The Crocodile Hunter” have been touched by the tragic death of Steve Irwin and may need some help to process it. Irwin died Monday after being stung in the chest by a sting ray during the filming of a new TV program. By listening empathically to what your children are experiencing and supplying the answers to their sometimes graphic questions, you can help them move through this sad event. Use these pointers to guide your conversations:
· Model a sense of balance by regaining your own perspective on the risks implicit in living and by moving forward.
· Respect children’s curiosity. Young children in particular are trying to comprehend the concept as well as the permanence of death. Answer their questions gently and honestly in a way that they can understand. Use simple, brief terms like these:
Q: How did he die?
A: The sting ray stung him and he died.
Q: Will he be back on his show next week?
A: No. When someone dies, they are longer here like they were before. Remember the dead bird you saw? It could not fly any more.
Q: Did it hurt?
A: I hope not. It happened very fast.
Q: Why did the stingray do that?
A: He was frightened the Crocodile Hunter swam over him.
Q: Is a stingray mean? Will animals hurt me?
A: Animals can’t tell us when they’re afraid, so sometimes they bite or sting. Animals will usually not hurt people unless they are scared.
· Put the magnitude of the danger into perspective. This was a very unusual occurrence. Stingrays can be threatening, but their sting is not often fatal.
· If your child begins to be fearful about losing you, reassure her that you are very careful and that you expect to be with her for a very long time. Provide some extra one-on-one time, and be patient. Her fears will gradually subside.
Older children can understand more about Steve Irwin’s commitment to conservation and his love of his work.
· Talk with them about Irwin’s love of animals and the enjoyment he took in his work.
· Empower them be safe. Discuss how Irwin believed very strongly in his cause and knowingly took risks. Remind them that often what they see on television would be very dangerous for viewers to try.
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